The Juggling Metaphor

I have a lot of balls in the air.

And I was talking about it with a friend, who also has a lot of balls in the air, and we were discussing the hard.

There’s things she does that I think are really hard, and there’s things I do that she thinks are really hard, but neither of us think that’s the problem.

“You know,” I said, “it’s not the doing that’s hard, it’s the wanting that’s wearing me out.”

“Yes,” she said. “I know exactly what you mean.”

The Wanting

Wanting to be good. Wanting things I’m working on to work out.

Sticking my neck out and wanting it to be worth it.

It’s an energy suck. And it doesn’t improve your doing in the least. In fact, it’s a lot like worrying in that respect.

It robs us of the here and now, which is really all we’ve got.

The Pleasure

This morning, I woke up thinking about sewing. Because sewing soothes me.

It’s a physical doing that grounded and concrete and I build a three dimension thing out of flat materials. I love that.

It’s a simple pleasure for me. It makes me feel connected to life.

And it’s a break from all my balls-in-the-air.

Receiving

You probably have a lot of balls in the air too.

Juggling like crazy. Wanting things to happen this way, worrying if things happen that way.

And it can feel like you don’t have the time or energy to fit your creativity into this juggling act.

But your creativity doesn’t have to be a part of the energy suck. It doesn’t have to be part of the wanting story.

It can be your refuge from all that.

If you let it.

You don’t have to have energy to create. Your creativity will give you energy.

It’s like a dog that’s always there, always willing and asking nothing.

It’s when we bring our wanting to our creativity that we tangle up this most essential part of ourselves with other confused ideas about achieving, identity, or lost time.

Let the act of creating feed you. Let your creativity nourish your soul and rejuvenate you.

Remember how you feel (or felt, if it’s been a while) when you’re immersed in your favorite act of creativity–I’m talking about the physical, making part of it–mixing the colors, or sewing the pieces, decoupaging the vase or feeling the charcoal on the paper….

and give yourself that again.

Remind yourself that this is who you are, this is the way you like to move through life here on planet Earth.

The way an athlete likes to run. The way a singer likes to sing. It’s you, being yourself, which is really all you’re ever supposed to be.

Good and bad–they have nothing to do with it.

The joyous, simple act of creating. It’s always there for you, no matter what.