Archive for Techniques & Strategies
Creating and sharing your work is often an ongoing struggle with “going public” and feeling exposed.
It’s a thrill when people respond positively to what you’ve made and it can be truly painful when your latest creation is met with criticism or–often much worse–silence.
Not Knowing “How”
First of all, people often say the “wrong thing” or nothing at all is because they don’t know how to talk about art or design. They simply don’t have the language.
What I’ve never realized fully until lately though is that this actually makes people feel inadequate themselves. They either don’t know what to say and think they should OR they have no idea how to respond to something that isn’t representational or not their style with any kind of grace or skill.
Heck, I studied a lot of art history and I don’t always have the language either. (The FaceBook “like” button is actually very helpful in that situation!)
And if I’m struggling when art, design, and everything handmade is my obsession, well goodness, these civilians don’t stand a chance!
Which is why I think we need to let people off the hook.
So when your partner, friend, or business associate doesn’t know what to say–or says nothing, consider not taking it personally. Because in truth, it’s not personal even though it probably feels that way.
Even more importantly, consider not filling in the silence with your own terrible sentences of what you think they’re really thinking.
Which takes me to my “second of all.”
When a loved one, friend, or colleague says nothing (or something non-committal) about what you’ve made and you feel naked, vulnerable and ridiculous, it’s easy for your mind to go a little crazy and start thinking the worst–filling in the silence with your own terrible sentences about your talent, your value, and your right to make art at all.
These terrible sentences are part of the whole self-critical story most of us tell ourselves all the time, but I think it gets even more exaggerated around your artwork because it’s like your putting your soul on display–an exposure of a different magnitude than most other ways we put ourselves “out there.”
When you can “tell” that someone doesn’t like something you’ve created, it can feel like that person is rejecting your essence.
And the reason this can feel so awful is that it is triggering your sorrow about the countless losses, shaming moments and various rejections you’ve experienced throughout your entire life.
It’s the rare person who reaches adulthood who accepts and loves themselves completely. Feeling “not okay” or “not enough” or “unworthy” –on whatever level–is practically the universal human experience.
And because your artwork is a direct expression of who you are, the usual bevy of self-protection mechanisms that effectively shield you from having to experience these feelings aren’t in place.
It’s like being on a fast track to accessing your unhealed pain. Ugh.
What To Do
Well, first, have compassion. Forgive yourself for judging yourself so harshly through the eyes of another. (Actually saying to yourself, “I forgive myself for that thought” can be quite powerful–try it.)
The second is to simply “notice” to the best of your ability. This can be hard in the throes of hurt, but to whatever degree you can, ask yourself:
- “What am I feeling right now?” (Try to give it a word so it’s not a nameless, overwhelming blob.)
- Where in your body are you feeling it? Does it have a shape and color? (A shape is finite and finite is good–again, much easier to tackle than a nameless, overwhelming blob.)
- What old memories is it conjuring up? Who or what from your past is popping into your mind?
The third is to consider the idea that however true it might feel, it’s not. It’s a merciless story you’re telling yourself.
And even though it might be hard not to indulge that story, all efforts to interrupt it are powerful. Even thinking the thought, “Sarah said this is a merciless story and not the truth” is an interruption and an important first step.
The Big Pay-Off
What I actually love about this whole challenging experience for myself is that it elevates my artistic journey into a spiritual one.
Because creating is who I am, it’s the path through which I can explore the sacred and heal my wounds–and not just in the “making” part of my art, but through the entire experience–the showing and sharing, the applying and hoping, the acceptance and rejection, the selling and not selling, the praise and the silence.
It’s the place I do so much of my hard growing.
And an unexpected gift from this process is that it creates an increased...intimacy somehow between me and my artwork. It’s like they become private symbols of my healing process and growth (in addition to be artwork about this or that.)
How about you? Do you face these challenges too?
What do you do when you feel exposed and vulnerable? Do consider your creative journey a spiritual journey?
Please leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you and as always, remember that sharing your own experiences and struggles–even when you don’t have an answer or solution–can help other people know they’re not alone!
Like most people who sew, I’m a bit of a fabric-aholic. I have a huge stash.
Last week, as I was (semi) organizing my studio, I packed up 2 big bags and gave it away–including a whole bag of pillow forms that I had gotten from someone else.
This was hard to do because I felt guilty about buying the fabric and then not using it. Wasteful.
But I was also happier when it was gone because I didn’t have to go through the guilt of looking at it every day anymore either. And I realized that I had given myself permission to let go of my mistakes.
Why it’s Complicated
I have a friend who is a professional organizer and I have these imaginary conversations with her in my head when I’m tidying my studio. Often these conversations happen because I have piles I can never quite get rid of completely (and I’m wondering how on earth to do that) and sometimes because I’m mentally defending my mounds of supplies that I won’t toss.
I have a box of feathers, for instance, that I’ve owned for over 20 years. Literally. My mom scored them for me at a yard sale in the early nineties. The thing is, I used some of those feathers the other day. And I could tell you that I use them regularly, which is true lately, but I’ve also gone for years when I didn’t use them.
Hence the agony of the arty person. We can have a seemingly ragtag assortment of stuff that sits for ages without getting used. Normally, in the organizing world, that means you must not really want it and you should toss it.
But that’s not so helpful for the arty collagist type person. It’s true that I could never use it but it’s also true that I could.
While I’m definitely a work in progress on clutter and organization myself, I do think, when it comes to art supplies, that normal rules of keeping and tossing don’t apply.
But I also think you can hang on to things too long out of guilt, feeling wasteful, or unrealistic expectations and accidentally create a clutter that interferes with your creativity. This we don’t want!
So here’s a few questions I try to ask myself when I’m attempting to create more order in my studio:
Do I own these bits or do they own me?
Does your stuff control the way you move around? Does it oppress you? Do you feel overwhelmed by it? Being enslaved by your stuff is a sure sign you need to get rid of it (or at least some of it if that statement just gave you a heart attack!) Either way, don’t let your stuff control you–and don’t feel bad about needing help to figure it out either.
Is this stuff about my “Present Me” or my “Past Me?”
Sometimes we hang onto old stories about ourselves when they no longer serve–except to provide us an identity or a comfortable explanation that we’re used to saying: “I’m a _________ (fill in the blank) type artist and that’s why I have all this kind of __________ supplies.
For instance, you might be defining yourself this way: “I always frame all my artwork myself, so I have all this mat board leaning against the wall over there and all these odd sized frames in these milk crates that I scored at yard sales and that big cutter that’s partially blocking the back door until I set it up again…”
But do you still do that? Do you want to? It’s okay to have changed, moved on, realize you don’t like doing that, etc. It’s okay!
(Or if that definition of yourself means a great deal to you and it hurts to get rid of that stuff because of you still want to be that someone who frames all her art, it’s just that you’re not making any art right now, which is what REALLY bums you out….well, it might be a good time to sign up for a phone coaching session where we can figure out how to get you back to that!)
Is it really so precious or could I actually get it again if I got rid of it now and decided I needed it later?
We artists often collect unusual bits that can’t be gotten in a store whenever we feel like it. But that said, we also have an abundant universe.
Even if you can’t get that exact thing again, if you believe that you can always get what you truly need when you need it, you can have faith that when you’re struck by inspiration, you’ll not be suffering without “x” because you tossed it or gave it to charity or sold it at a yard sale to another quirky soul six months ago.
Don’t forget, you’re creative. Part of being creative is coming up with creative solutions. Your creativity is not dependent on your stash of cool bits.
Is it serving me? Is it feeding my creativity? Does it give me joy? Or do I just feel bad about getting rid of it?
You can think something is neat/cool/fun/handy and still get rid of it. By getting rid of it you’re not saying to it: “You are worthless.” You’re just saying, “You’re neat, but I’m about other things now.”
If it truly has value, then you know a thrift store or charity shop will be happy to have it.
Is this about my beliefs about things other than art?
For instance, do you allow yourself to have made a mistake? Sometimes hanging onto stuff forever is about that: never say die!
Or are you like me–is it hard to feel like you “wasted money” and if you throw that out you’re conceding that that’s what you did?
Remember, an abundance of supplies is an expression of loving to create–it might not have been the smartest economic decision ever, but are you giving that mistake too much weight? I mean, have you never ordered the wrong thing at dinner? Bought shoes that don’t fit right?
We all make mistakes, we all use our money unwisely sometimes. If your art supply shopping is preventing you from paying your bills or feeding your kids, okay, you’ve got a problem. But I doubt that’s your situation. Don’t beat yourself up!
Okay, admit it, did you actually forget about it?
Even though I’m a big believer that you have to see your supplies if you want to create, I still have stuff I’ve put in boxes and forgotten about completely. Then, when I open the box I think, “oh yeah, I forgot about that. Hmm…that’s pretty neat.”
Neat or not, that can go. My life was fine without it. My creativity was not informed by it. I didn’t even remember owning it for goodness sakes.
What do you think?
How are you doing with your stuff? Do you allow yourself to make mistakes? Do you let stuff go? Would you feel more free with less clutter?
What are your strategies for keeping on top of your supplies or organizing your studio/workspace corner?
Please leave a comment–we’d love to hear from you and don’t forget, your experiences might help someone else!
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When you’re creating something, it’s usually hard to finish it in one sitting. So unless you live alone, it’s highly likely that other people are witnessing your process, your “muck” half way through.
If you make work all the time, this probably isn’t a problem because you’ve got some key factors working in your favor:
- momentum (huge)
- confidence (huge)
- habit (everyone around you is used to you doing it-huge)
But if you are trying to get back into the swing, or you create sporadically, or even if you make things all the time but are nervously TRYING SOMETHING NEW, it can be hard to feel so……………exposed.
Which can stop you even before you get started.
Because really, this fear of exposure is most likely a fear of failure.
It’s hard to make something bad. Or risk making something bad. Because usually, you leap to the (incorrect) conclusion that it means that you’re bad/not talented/a big loser–you know the drill.
(Of course, it does NOT mean that, but a lifetime of conditioning can take a while to undo.)
So how do you move forward while still struggling with your demons?
Two words: Protective Sentences.
I have long relied on protective sentences as a way for me to do what I want and dodge “helpful advice” (not), potential or imagined potential criticism, or even just the potential need to explain myself or what I’m doing to anyone–friend or stranger.
So what’s a protective sentence? I’ll tell you.
Someone says, “What are you making?” or even better…”What is THAT?”
You say your protective sentence:
“I don’t know, I’m experimenting.”
or just “I’m experimenting.” (without pausing to look up because you’re too busy experimenting to stop.)
Then they say, “Oh.”
Because really, what can they say back? It’s beautiful in it’s simplicity.
In fact, if someone else walks up and says “What is that?”
I’ll bet you 10-1 that that first questioner will answer for you, “Oh, she’s experimenting.”
It’s perfect. It’s a huge cocoon that requires no further explanation. It’s my all-time favorite.
And hey, it may not be the bravest thing to do in terms of self-actualization or whatever, but I don’t care about that kind of brave, I care about a bigger brave–you making your stuff or you pushing to your particular edge, or digging deeper, or reaching higher. And if you’re stopping yourself because it feels hard or you may fail or look ridiculous, then it’s imperative to create the conditions you need to take that risk anyway–however teeny or pointless it may seem to someone else.
A good, simple protective sentence can do the trick.
And best of all, they’ll never know!
And while you’re at it, come experiment with me this Sunday!
Sign up for the Creative Breakthrough’s Collage Tele-Class–it’s over the phone (not online) and it’s super simple and fun to participate. It’s happening this Sunday, October 21st, at 3pm EST.
(And if someone asks what you’re doing, tell them “I’m experimenting.”)
Do you have any protective sentences that you’d like to share? Tell us in the comments, I’d love to hear from you!
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It’s the end of the year which for many of us is a time of reflection–especially this last week between Christmas and the New Year.
The idea behind an annual theme is to provide yourself a unifying idea or motif that you can return to and interpret over the course of time and to help you connect any specific goals you might create with your highest desires for yourself.
And you can’t break your theme either, so there’s no failure factor which is a nice change of pace from the inevitable breaking that seems to happen within a few weeks or months for most of us with New Year’s resolutions.
This year I’m inviting you to choose a theme specifically for your creativity–your goals, dreams, secret wishes–however humble or lofty they might be.
It’s useful to keep it to a few words. Take your time thinking about what you want for your creative self, and how that might be captured as a theme. Your theme might come to you instantly, or it might take a few weeks to evolve.
To give you some ideas about what your theme might look like, here are some suggestions to spark your imagination:
- Dig Deeper
- Loving Patience (with yourself of course)
- Be Consistent
- One Foot in Front of the Other
- Show Up
- Look and Listen
- Be Joyful
- Be Present
- Be Committed
- Take Risks
As you consider what theme will most benefit you in 2011, you might also want to develop a tagline. Last year, for instance, my theme for my business was Break Through and my tagline was Have Faith.
I felt like this combination was the perfect expression of what I was hoping for myself–to push past some self-imposed barriers while also not forcing things or fretting–having faith that things would unfold the way they should.
So you could resonate with one of the suggestions from the list above and use it for your theme–and then use another word from the list as your perfect tagline.
For instance, your theme could be Take Risks with the tagline Acceptance–this tagline can help you remember to be on your own side as you take your risks, which is important if you commit to sticking your neck out on a regular basis.
Or perhaps you’d like your theme to be Be Present (with your creativity), with the tagline Allow.
It can be easier to stop judging yourself and let yourself Be Present with where you are in your creative process when you Allow yourself to make mistakes, make bad stuff, or be a beginner.
See how it works? I love it.
What’s Your Theme?
So, what do you think? Are you ready to create yourself a theme for your creativity this 2011? Do you know what that is already, or are you just putting on your thinking cap?
Please share your thoughts in the comments, I’d love to hear from you!
I’ve got an exciting new offer! You can now get a FREE trial of the Creative Breakthroughs Collage Tele-class just by signing up for my newsletter–right up there on the right of your screen.
Watch my short video where I explain all about it:
(if you’re receiving this in your email and you can’t see the video, click on this link: http://makegreatstuff.com/free-trial/)
How Do Current Subscribers Get the Coupon?
If you already subscribe to my blog, thank you!
However, I’d love for you to re-subscribe because I’m using a different service that behaves better, lets me put the title of the post into the email subject line (so you can tell before you open it if it’s probably something that interests you), and sends prettier emails.
And if you do, you’ll get a coupon for a FREE trial of the Creative Breakthroughs Collage Tele-class.
This class is a great way to get unstuck, work around your self–censorship, and make time for your creativity every week.
And if you’ve already taken a Creative Breakthroughs Collage Tele-class, you still completely qualify for a FREE coupon–just re-subscribe and it should arrive in your email shortly.
(You’re doing me a huge favor by switching subscription services, so I’m happy for you to have a free coupon.)
I’d be honored if you’d share this offer with everyone you think might benefit so they can get back to their creative selves as well.
Tweet it, put the link in your FB profile, or email it to friends and family.
Here’s the link that has the video and explains all about it: http://makegreatstuff.com/free-trial/
Thank you, I really appreciate your willingness to spread the creative love.
I hope to “see” you on a call soon, and I really look forward to making art together!
Big hugs, Sarah
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Because you are creative, creating is a critical part of taking care of yourself, as much as exercising, meditating or eating right.
And yet, it’s so easy to put your artmaking and creativity dead last–certainly after your obligations at work and meeting the needs of your family–two giant parts of life that are pretty compelling–but even after exercising, meditating, and eating right.
The thing is, “last” usually means “not at all” because we run out of time, energy or both.
And while it’s certainly it’s not a zero sum game–for instance, eating right and finding time for your creativity aren’t mutually exclusive–it’s worth considering why certain areas of your life get so much time and attention, and other areas so little.
Simple Changes/Big Symbolism
Let’s start with the “eating right’ thing.
I mean, sure, you and your family need to eat right, but is there a way to make it less time consuming? Can you pick a night that you order in and set aside that meal prep time for your artmaking instead?
Making this kind of simple change rarely affects just you, so it probably also includes having a conversation about it with your spouse/significant other.
Which is why you may unconsciously avoid it. But it’s also why you should really do it.
Because such a conversation can be a wonderful game changer for two reasons:
1. You’re saying out loud to the other important creator/maintainer of your current routine that you want to make a change in the current family system in order to carve out time for your creativity, which is a big step toward actually doing that–making the intention “public” if you will.
2. It’s a hugely symbolic, habit-shifting, mind-changing statement, because you’re also declaring out loud that your creativity is a priority to you.
So much so that you’re willing to have a conversation about re-arranging a family pattern to do it.
Even if this information surprises them. Even if you’re rusty, or it’s been a while. Even if it means that you’ll continue to have angst about your art during your desired, requested, routine-shaking newly carved out time.
Don’t Wait Until Your “Serious”
It’s important to remember that you don’t have to wait until you’re “ready” to have this kind of conversation or make this kind of change.
You don’t have to “prove” anything to anyone once you do change your routine and make time for your creative endeavors by being super productive or making “great art.”
Even if other peoples’ routines have been affected.
This can be hard, uncomfortable, even scary–you might feel exposed or like your family is now expecting/waiting to see what fabulousness you going to start cranking out now that you’ve shaken things up.
You did not, however, make a promise, you declared an intention.
You’re simply making space for your creativity. To let it evolve and grow. It doesn’t mean all your mixed feelings go away. It doesn’t mean you’re suddenly freed up from all your angst and self doubt.
It just means you’re willing to be on your own side. To make a place for this essential part of you. That it matters as much as anything else.
I think that’s good. What do you think?
Creative Breakthroughs Collage Tele-Class
If such a thing tempts you, but you’re not sure how you’d actually use time set aside weekly for your creativity, why not sign up for a Creative Breakthroughs Collage Tele-Class?
It’s an affordable, EASY way to be creative every week, and you don’t have to self-motivate–just call in and we make art together–no matter how not-creative you’re feeling and no matter what’s hectic-ness has been happening.
You also get to you connect with other like minded artists from the comfort of your own home. What could be better?